When awkward turns more awkward..


Awkward and embarrassing things happen to me often, but jeez this one even had me thinking “what the hell is going on with that girl (me).”

So it was like any other day and I was on my run at Greenlake with my dog. I was actually having a pretty good time and whatnot: looking at the water, running by people, having old ladies pass me (not uncommon here, keep doing what you’re doing Seattle! You’re amazing!), and whatever just having a good run. Then I finally get to my normal spot that I usually take a picture for my boyfriend who lives in Florida right now because it has a perfect view of “our island.” (Yes, sometimes I’m sentimental and cute). Only this time… it isn’t the same as the usual routine that happens when I go take this picture.

There is a DILF (yes, like a MILF, but for a dad. And man, if there is a DILF God out there he definitely answered to this guy) sitting on the grass right where I usually stand to take my picture. Yes I realize it’s awkward to go stand RIGHT next to him and take the pic, but whatever my headphones are in (which obviously means I’m not really here) and he already spotted me coming towards him, so to turn and leave now would be beyond awkward, not to mention crude.

So I inch my way closer and go to take my picture, only to see one of his little daughters excited and pointing at my dog. Now about my dog, he is a 9 year old teacup poodle and not the friendliest little guy, despite his teddy bear face and puppy gestures. So anyway the dad says “oh you want to pet the puppy?” to his older daughter and I thought oh shit, I have to let her or I’ll look like an ass! So I take my headphones out (but they’re still all intertwined in my shirt) and I say “here pet him!” and the kid does what any normal kid does, run away, come back, giggle, whatever, I was too busy staring at the dad. Anyway then his baby who couldn’t even walk yet crawled over to me and started sucking on my knee… What? Well, that’s besides the point.

So since the little girl was taunting my dog, he obviously went into attack mode (that’s normal right? I totally didn’t see it coming though..). He decided to run after her and she screamed of course, and ran behind her dad. This ripped my headphones from my shirt, my dog’s leash pulled my arm, my glasses nearly fell off, and my debit card fell out of my yoga pants pocket. All of this commotion then made my dog come back and trip the baby who then stumbled, rolling over at least 3 times down the hill to the dirt. I immediately drop everything, run and grab the baby and of course freak out. The dad tells me that the baby is fine and he is giggling like he thought this whole thing was cute. But you see, I was HORRIFIED. In that moment I wasn’t even in my body. I was a being watching this all happen and turning extremely red for myself.

I start to gather my things because my dog had just chased his 3 year old and scared the living SH*T out of her, and made his baby topple down a mountain (ok it was probably about 3 feet but enough to give me a heart attack). The dad then proceeds to say “Ok say ‘bye’ to the doggie I think they’re about to leave.” Then he looks at me— “Unless you want to stay?” with his perfect smile…..

….me, being me, extremely awkward. Just said “You know what I think I already did too much I just think I’m going to go. Have a good time!” Then I proceeded on my run.

So much for being brutally honest! SCHNIKIES! It really was too much though.

(Yes, I ran around again- super fast- hoping to see him again but nope. Him and his traumatized daughters were gone.)




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