Why having European grandparents is the best

Why having European grandparents is the best.

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They don’t beat around the bush.
If they don’t want you in their house, they’ll be sure to tell you. Not to be rude or anything, they just know when they’re done visiting and won’t pretend for hours that they’re happy endlessly entertaining you. It hurts your feelings a little (not really) but it’s also adorable and cute that they don’t realize the social norms in America (or Seattle at least) where we can’t say no to save our lives. I’ve dragged on many visiting times for hours just to save someone else’s feelings (what about my own?).

They gave you amazing mixed genes
You will forever thank them for your unique look. Every time someone says “woah where are you from??” You smile in your head as you picture your little grandparents in Europe (Hungary and Germany for me). You love your harsh dark features and thick hair.. And how you managed to have olive skin but freckles at the same time? Thank the damn mixed God, or your grandparents, because you’re lucky you’re European!

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They offer you everything.
Ever since I was a kid I have never left my grandparents house without a few bags of candy, maybe some silverware, a spare book, a few movies, and hey let’s throw in a couch too. Maybe American grandparents do it too (I wouldn’t know, I have none..) but I do know that the European culture is very giving. And when you say “hey I like that” a Europeans immediate response is “well take it!” As opposed to the American response: “oh my gosh isn’t it amazing? I got it at Nordstrom it was like $300 but I never use it. You should totally get one!” Nope. No matter how expensive, if you want it they give it.

They put everything in jars
Maybe this is a weird reason, but it’s adorable.. And totally European.

They make you great food
Oh you think your grandparents hamburgers, ribs, mashed potatoes, or the pizza they got at Dominos is good? Try having Hungarian goulash, German stews, sauerkraut (if you like that sort of thing), German-ized spaghetti with potato noodles, any sort of German pastry or desert, not to mention all in vegetarian/vegan options as well! I couldn’t go a week without their food. Let’s admit it, half the reason for going to Europe is the delicious food, well how cool is it that with European grandparents I can have it at any given moment…

They yell in their language
When they get mad at you, they go off at you in their native language, probably saying all kinds of nasty things (no, just kidding they would never) and you can’t understand them! No feeling bad about yourself, no need to defend yourself, no need to do anything besides nod and say “yes.”

They have the cutest accents
Imagine going to your grandparents, and the age gap obviously means hours of you listening about how to knit a tree skirt (literally), what happened in WWII, what happened in swim class the other morning, and other random facts. Well obviously these conversations can be interesting and you love your grandparents, so you listen. But having European grandparents gives you the awesome advantage that if you ever get bored, you can silently snicker to yourself about their funny use of pronouns and their adorable accents. It’s a great distraction!

Tv in different language
Nothing on tv? Change it to German tv. Even if you can’t understand, promise it’s extremely entertaining.

They don’t understand your slang
This can go two ways.. They either think it’s hilarious and want to know what the heck you just said (imagine explaining rachet to an immigrant). Or you can accidentally slip and call someone an extremely bad slang word not to be said around family, and they don’t even bat an eye for the sole reason that, well, they didn’t understand it.

And a serious reason:

They have history
You can never get bored with European grandparents and their stories (not to get confused with what I said before. I said IF you got bored you could distract yourself with their accent… I can’t get bored with mine). Anyway, you constantly hear stories about their struggle to immigrate, the children they had in different countries, the hardships they had during WWII, the reasons why they came to Seattle, WA of all places, and the cute little European way that they met at a random gelato shop when they both didn’t speak English or each other’s language.

The elderly are truly the treasures of the world. They know what you don’t know yet, and you will be them one day. Cherish every single one of them.

XORelatable

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That one time I was on sale at a PetStore

lolz

No, I’m not for sale you crazy old man.

So as I’ve said, I work in a Pet Hotel. Basically a human hotel but for dogs and cats. So what we do all day is sit in a room filled with up to 16 dogs and play with them. This room has a GIANT window – one whole wall. Customers come by all the time and antagonize the dogs, kids try to piss them off and think its funny (I certainly do not think it’s funny and I make sure they know that), old people come and admire the cute little pooches, whatever. Dog lovers (or haters i.e. the kids) of all kinds come to see these dogs play.

Well, I for one, hate being in the playrooms because you are constantly being watched. If a dog starts a fight, which happens a lot because dogs are very snappy sometimes, I’m immediately to blame even though I can’t read dogs minds. People complain about everything: that we didn’t clean up the pee/poop quick enough, that we’re not playing hard enough with the dogs, that we look bored, literally anything. So needless to say I always have my cheery face on in there, I’m always playing fetch or cuddling some sort of dog, and I clean up accidents right away (yes, Bellevue mom that’s right! Your complaint made a difference in the world..)

So anyway, this one day I was just sitting with about 5 puppies on my lap. I had probably been working at the Pet Hotel for less than a month at this point, so I wasn’t completely comfortable with people coming by the window and watching me. I felt like I was constantly doing something wrong, even though I wasn’t. Well an older (but very handsome) man comes by the window and is just watching. So naturally, I start talking to the dogs and acting like I’m having the best time of my life, like I’m at Disney Land or something. The guy just kept watching. 20 minutes go by and the guy just keeps watching. By now I’m awkwardly smiling and playing fetch and really, seriously wanting him to leave.

Then he went up to the front desk where my managers sit and of course now I’m freaking out. I was scared sh*tless because I thought he was going to complain about me. My very first complaint, how embarrassing. Well, then I see my managers and him laughing and whatnot then the guy smiles at me. I was like whatever can he leave now. But instead he just comes back to the window and watches me for about another hour.. Now I’m creeped out and so annoyed that I’m not even pretending to play anymore. I’m making it obvious that I don’t want him there, and my face is about the color of a tomato or a fire truck.

When the guy FINALLY left, my manager came in to tell me that he asked if the things in the room were for sale. My manager said she awkwardly laughed and explained that no, these dogs have owners that take them here to socialize while they’re at work. The guy then said “no, I mean the cute girl in there.”

I was horrified. I was the size of an ant.

So this whole time that man was watching me, admiring me? I mean some would take this as a compliment, but me being awkward and nervous all the time, just sits there and contemplates all the things I did and how he probably interpreted them and how if I would have known he was admiring me I probably would have not made eye contact.

Big compliment, and he wasn’t a bad looking guy by any means, but come on dude, really? At work? And you’re trying to pick up a 20 year old girl in a Pet Store? Cute.

XORelatable

When awkward turns more awkward..

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Awkward and embarrassing things happen to me often, but jeez this one even had me thinking “what the hell is going on with that girl (me).”

So it was like any other day and I was on my run at Greenlake with my dog. I was actually having a pretty good time and whatnot: looking at the water, running by people, having old ladies pass me (not uncommon here, keep doing what you’re doing Seattle! You’re amazing!), and whatever just having a good run. Then I finally get to my normal spot that I usually take a picture for my boyfriend who lives in Florida right now because it has a perfect view of “our island.” (Yes, sometimes I’m sentimental and cute). Only this time… it isn’t the same as the usual routine that happens when I go take this picture.

There is a DILF (yes, like a MILF, but for a dad. And man, if there is a DILF God out there he definitely answered to this guy) sitting on the grass right where I usually stand to take my picture. Yes I realize it’s awkward to go stand RIGHT next to him and take the pic, but whatever my headphones are in (which obviously means I’m not really here) and he already spotted me coming towards him, so to turn and leave now would be beyond awkward, not to mention crude.

So I inch my way closer and go to take my picture, only to see one of his little daughters excited and pointing at my dog. Now about my dog, he is a 9 year old teacup poodle and not the friendliest little guy, despite his teddy bear face and puppy gestures. So anyway the dad says “oh you want to pet the puppy?” to his older daughter and I thought oh shit, I have to let her or I’ll look like an ass! So I take my headphones out (but they’re still all intertwined in my shirt) and I say “here pet him!” and the kid does what any normal kid does, run away, come back, giggle, whatever, I was too busy staring at the dad. Anyway then his baby who couldn’t even walk yet crawled over to me and started sucking on my knee… What? Well, that’s besides the point.

So since the little girl was taunting my dog, he obviously went into attack mode (that’s normal right? I totally didn’t see it coming though..). He decided to run after her and she screamed of course, and ran behind her dad. This ripped my headphones from my shirt, my dog’s leash pulled my arm, my glasses nearly fell off, and my debit card fell out of my yoga pants pocket. All of this commotion then made my dog come back and trip the baby who then stumbled, rolling over at least 3 times down the hill to the dirt. I immediately drop everything, run and grab the baby and of course freak out. The dad tells me that the baby is fine and he is giggling like he thought this whole thing was cute. But you see, I was HORRIFIED. In that moment I wasn’t even in my body. I was a being watching this all happen and turning extremely red for myself.

I start to gather my things because my dog had just chased his 3 year old and scared the living SH*T out of her, and made his baby topple down a mountain (ok it was probably about 3 feet but enough to give me a heart attack). The dad then proceeds to say “Ok say ‘bye’ to the doggie I think they’re about to leave.” Then he looks at me— “Unless you want to stay?” with his perfect smile…..

….me, being me, extremely awkward. Just said “You know what I think I already did too much I just think I’m going to go. Have a good time!” Then I proceeded on my run.

So much for being brutally honest! SCHNIKIES! It really was too much though.

(Yes, I ran around again- super fast- hoping to see him again but nope. Him and his traumatized daughters were gone.)

XOrelatable